Is FOPO affecting your career?
I recently came across the acronym “FOPO,” coined by high-performance psychologist Michael Gervais. It stands for Fear of Other People’s Opinions, and he describes it as “an irrational, unproductive, and unhealthy obsession in our modern world.” Whether you’re deciding what to say in a meeting, tiptoeing around sharing an honest opinion, or holding back a bold idea, you may have noticed FOPO quietly creeping into your thoughts, dictating your actions and dimming your confidence.
Why is it so pervasive? Because it taps into a fundamental human desire: to belong. And from an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense. Being accepted by the group once meant survival; but in modern society, FOPO often shows up as self-censorship, conformity, and avoidance — keeping us from reaching our full potential. In a corporate environment, FOPO can be particularly damaging. It silences dissent, fosters groupthink, threatens diversity, and creates a culture where people prioritise being liked over being effective.
So, how can you combat FOPO to galvanise your career?
Here are some coaching exercises I’ve found effective in helping clients to develop awareness, insight, and tools for managing FOPO:
Identifying the ‘Other’: Helping clients to understand whose opinions they are fearful of i.e. whether their fear is rooted in a certain group of people or specific to an individual. Perhaps it’s fear of how they’ll be perceived by their peers if they try something new and it doesn’t work out; what their manager will think if they share candid feedback; what their team thinks about them as a leader. Others will recognise that it’s the voice of a parent, teacher or caregiver, that implicitly guides their decisions.
Recognising your triggers: Asking clients to think back to instances when they noticed the feeling of fear (FOPO) helps to establish patterns. From there, you can usually identify what’s triggering that feeling. Common triggers include presenting in front of senior leaders or large groups, handling conflict, and tackling high-stakes decisions. It’s not always easy to admit that fear of judgment is holding you back, but awareness is a key step to overcoming it.
Challenging your beliefs: This involves asking clients to think about what they believe to be true in a situation - and what is empirically true. Challenging our own beliefs can be extremely powerful in helping to uncover fresh perspectives and solutions.
Creating strategies: Once you’re clear on the challenge (you’ve explored where the fear is coming from and what triggers it), you can start to think about strategies for reducing or removing FOPO —such as shifting your focus, reframing, getting clear on what brings meaning to your life (your purpose) - and how you want to live your life (your values) - so that your decisions and choices are guided by these principles instead of by the need to be accepted/liked by others.
By letting go of the fear of what others might think, you create space for authenticity, creativity, and boldness—the very qualities that drive personal and professional growth.
Are you ready to give it a try?